what day is it and did you see me today?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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