is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
this is an emotional support booty call
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
