My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
