Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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