I'm laying in your front yard are you home
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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