what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
