it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
