remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I use my feet as sexual weapons
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
