yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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