I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He shit in the fireplace
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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