Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
