I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
