Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
