Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
