yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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