I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm too high and old for this...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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