I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
