that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
