You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
