super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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