susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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