All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
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