She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
