Banned from zoo.
Again?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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