There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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