Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
