I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
