in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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