i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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