I want to make a zoo with you.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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