Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
