I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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