1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
