singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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