how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize