please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
