After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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