Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
