even my farts smell like vagina
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize