WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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