i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
