Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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