If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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