Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
