Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
