We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
