you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
