ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
