I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
