I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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