I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
