Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
now i know why i became what i already was.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize