so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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