dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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