so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
thus making me awesome and them whores
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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