I cockslap morals
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I have tasted many bathrooms
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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