you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
